jordisslave

I hope you farmed Serana, those Parasite Spider Eggs are useful.

I'm guessing she's Sith as she's hanging around in Gloomy Deathtown.

The skirt thing is really irksome. There are loads of outfits with long, "flowing" dresses and skirts that look great. Until you take a step. or crouch. or move in any way. or use any other than about four of the three hundred poses installed by various mods.

The few HDT ones I've found move around so insanely, like they're made of hyperkinetic mylar, that they're no better.

Short dresses/skirts only then. Not really complaining about that.

Don't coffin-dodgers drive Cadillacs?

I love thing explainer, at least the examples that have been on XKCD. The book might be my Christmas present for everyone.

You should find some Will Self. I love his way with words but in any writing or speaking (even on-the-hoof in radio or tv debates) there's usually at least one word per paragraph that might reasonably require a thesaurus.

Would be interested to see if you'd put him in the obfuscating category.

Any particular game examples? How have I missed this complaint?

One person's epic poetry is another's doggerell. What might sound like a truly dire line might be a writer's favourite bit they did as they managed to shoehorn in "gallimaufry" or something. In general in a game I want the message to be just enough, more than "I'm your friend. go here, kill that" even if it boils down to just that. I remember with no fondness 8-bit RPGS for pages of utterly redundant conversation.

Badly-translated dialogue, euro versions of 90's Japanese games, particularly, has moronic, perfunctory English that could be just as confusing when working out what to do.

Or really immersion-breaking like the classic HouseOfTheDead2/TypingOfTheDead.

English, courtesy of Molesworth:

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wpemeRoXIYg/TAKIvAoJp3I/AAAAAAAABsM/9ZJTDLJVFp8/s1600/gerund.JPG

Seven months and one day!

 

 

For a bunch of vampire hunters who have dedicated their lives to eradicating the bloodsucking menace in the world, they do tend to spend most of their time just idly standing around. I wonder if Busy Followers affects them too as they were always doing something. Industrious, although only you do any actual work. Maybe they're all vampires so they have to stay in there all the time.

 

 

Apart from when the NPC masturbate effect from SLsomething kicks in and the room turns into Wank Club, that is.

And now I'm picturing Isran, late at night. An alarm goes off...

Ding dong, ding dong! What's that? Oh, it's the alarm. Must be midnight. Come on, everybody, up and at 'em! Hands off socks and on your rocks! One two three, one two three, beat that meat, fondle that teat! Let's go, people, let's not have a repeat of last week's incident, I want everyone masturbating furiously here! Come on, Agmaer, didn't you tell me you were skilled at fucking wolves and touching your pa's ass? Durak! Stop moaning about your lost wives, Ingjard is right there, ready and willing! Florentius, you and Arkay get your dicks over here, we're starting a circle jerk. I want to see the floor wet and sticky within five minutes, folks! Move it!

 

A friend used to wake up her kids by barging into their room early in the morning with "Hands off cocks, on socks!". I was taken aback. They were 5 and 8. Never heard it anywhere else.

 

I imagine all parchment has a voice too, but it's old and coughs a lot because parchment is dusty. Face looks a bit like that rock thing from Return To Oz.

The Dexion thing was really annoying to start with, just wondered what was the point of him at all. Eventually started to see Club Dawnguard as the best populated place in the vanilla game, with plenty for NPCs to do rather than standing, twiddling thumbs. Needs a couple more guards but it's kind of cozy, and more NPCs just add to this. Especially with everyone sleeping in the same room.

Apart from when the NPC masturbate effect from SLsomething kicks in and the room turns into Wank Club, that is.

Word on the street is that if you're a vampire dark elf archmage harbinger and decapitate Belethor stealthily he turns into Megatron and becomes your follower.

There's a few thingies on TVTropes for Skyrim under the section The Dev Team Thinks Of Everything, some of them are of the easter egg sort.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/TheDevTeamThinksOfEverything/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim

I HAVE NEVER SHOUTED AT THE ORB!

WHY WOULD YOU SHOUT AT THE ORB?

You continue to amuse, particularly like "Daedric Prince...told me to".

I hope Mace gets hold of the herbal medication he needs.

(insert dead pun here)

I think they made a mistake with Arvak, his lack of skin and saddle means when you ride him you appear to be floating a couple of inches off his back, which is so angular anyway it would render it impossible.

The place is depressing but I like the Soul Cairn colour-scheme, it's reminiscent of quite a lot of british quiz shows at the moment. There might be something in that, something about dead-eyed daytime-tv audiences.

 

...not finished yet, but, Heimskr refers to "Earth"¿¡!? I have to go and listen to the stupid old shit now.

 

He says something like "they refuse to tolerate our presence on Earth" when he's talking about the evils of the Thalmor. IIRC he says something like that twice in his looping rant.

 

I have listened and read with sbttls, he contrasts the elves not wanting man in heaven, and then a hypothetical question about them not even tolerating [our] presence on earth. Small e. So soil, dirt etc.

It's still oddly out of place though, both heaven and earth.

Very good, lold several times. Particularly like your rare Dragon Shout. I used a follower mod to make her stick around and reloaded, then she did whatever it was.

I've given up with trying to determine what companions wear, although Serana was more reliable than most.

Never realised she was supposed to be flirting with me. Really?

...not finished yet, but, Heimskr refers to "Earth"¿¡!? I have to go and listen to the stupid old shit now.

No longer conflicted. This has coloured my fantasies since I read it.

There do seem to be a number of mods that you install, experience and then uninstall, reverting to a savegame from before. Either because they're in worrying pre-alpha state (highlighted by the creator with copious warnings) or something happens and then stops, either at a dead end or there's nothing further to go on with and they don't add any assets to retain the mod.

Most obviously that I've looked at recently are Get Stripped! and Slaves Of Tamriel. They might eventually go further into completeable quests you can carry on after but at the moment are like mini-games. Or an evening's distraction and helping with bug reports for development, oh, and QAYL.

Escape scenarios for this would be difficult but you could be rescued, and there is a model that could be used for limb replacement - the incomplete dwemer sexbot from SLStories.

Conflicted also.

There's a sci-fi film (not a good one) where human women are being coccooned in hexagonal slots in a wall. For what purpose I don't remember but it might have been as incubators or something. I've only seen it once a very long time ago when I was too young to understand the feeling it gave me and I've never tracked it down. This wasn't the subject of the film, just a scene or two.

For a mod some kind of bitchsuit-style chaurus gloop binding with appropriate animations would be good, the dismemberment represents a bad end and despite the number of Oblivion mods with them no one seems to want to have them in Skyrim mods.

Wow.

Very good.

I hope you're working on the mod to go with it.

Ah, A3-21's Plasma Rifle. My FO3 friend for life. Especially after I erm, modified it in the GECK.

You have yet to say it but thinking back, following LiamDad around the map from place-he's-just-left to place-he's-just-left feels really contrived as a MQ. For all its faults Skyrim's is a lot better. Actually Oblivion's and KofN's are better.

Do you need to add unrealistic ragdolls and force? I thought this kind of madness was in vanilla Skyrim.

Maybe I have it...I have "Realistic Ragdoll Force"...not that realistic.

Upvote because we do the reasons/raisins joke in this household too!

They're not real spiders though, you're not going to come across those by accident in the forest. sigh. The water suspension that allows them to be bigger also slows them down. And crabs are, just crabs. Somehow even being a similar shape just isn't enough.

"Meanwhile...In Australia" is a good thing to search for spider nightmares. The spider with birds in its web may or may not be photoshopped.

Was never happy with the resolution of so many quests in FO3, people complained about the moral choice system and fair enough but I wanted to be A Good Guy. Aside from the summary execution of thousands of Raiders (Bandits?), obvs.

"Strength to weight ratios would clearly prohibit such a creature from existing. Not to mention that as you increase mass, you increase the strain on the internal calcareous structure, or even a chitinous exoskeleton, to the point that the creature would collapse on itself. Galileo wrote about this in the 16th century, for god's sake! I laugh with scorn. Huge monstrosities don't exist"

It saddens me that there are no six-foot wide spiders anywhere in the real world.

Not sure how I feel about killing TD. He's alright on the radio but a dick in person but he does play good music. He is also a dick on the radio later on depending on your choices, even when there is no good choice in the quests...

Would have been incensed (sp?) if you'd blown up Megaton though.

I think I know where you mean and, yes, it's excellent. Combination of locations like that and The Apocalypse Gun made my PC crash on a number of occasions.

Unlikely ever to play FO1 or 2 as I don't get on with the form, I'll have to read more of the background lore though as that was always interesting, and there's SO MUCH OF IT.

I could never bring myself to detonate Megaton. Even made a mod so it had BoS guys outside and patrolling around to keep it safer. Obviously Plot Armour really determined who was badass and who could die so they made no practical effect, made me feel better though.

God this game was bleak, just made me want to curl up somewhere safe.

lol at the car incident. VATS and the explosions are what made this playable. The collapsed tunnel and car park chain reactions are excellent.

FO3:

This is a bit grim.

Yeah, but VATS!

And all the branching quests mean you have to be a dick to one person or another, no third way unless you simply don't complete.

Yeah, but VATS!

It takes ages to do anything at all

So? VATS!

This rubble being used to make unnecessarily circuitous travel routes is annoying.

Whatevs. VATS!

30 levels? WTF?

Don't care, VATS!

Ooh, Aliens and Spaceships!

Yeah, with VATS!

OK, space wasn't that exciting.

VATS you, motherfucker!

Shut up now.

VATS!

NV:

oo, it's still grim but now it's dirty brown-pink-orange, rather than dirty grey-green.

There's still VATS!

It just feels like DLC, like nothing's changed and we've not gone anywhere.

Yeah, don't know if even VATS can save this.

(in unison) BORED NOW

Oblivion:

I love this place, it's so verdant and gorgeous and randomly hazardous. What the hell is that? RUUUUN!

Let's go and pick some flowers and do some murdering.

Wow, this place looks big enough to be an actual town.

I can fire arrows while leaping through the air, jump directly onto the rooves of low buildings and run like a train. WOOOOOOOOOO!

Oblivion? If we get married can we keep it a secret, y'know, from GTA3/VC, RTCW, Jedi Knight and Dark Messiah? I just don't think they'd understand.

One's never sure if everyone else does the same thing. I guess this is part of the observational Stand-Up comedian's gamble; that others do it too.

Swooshy fly past video of the Imperial City, rousing music, then Patrick Stewart put on a comedy wig and talked fantasy lore at me for a bit, then died. Then Oblivion's Racemenu appeared, have I completely forgotten the beginning? Crumbs. Tutorial?

NV...there was definitely a fruit machine...or jukebox...or speak-your-weight machine or something. And loads of brown.

I have definitely played these games.

Skyrim I remember. On a cart with some indistinguishable blokes who may or may not have hated each other (when I met them again and the dialogue option "we met at Helgen" came up I was genuinely mystified on my first playthrough). Then a Roman Soldier wanted to kill me.

Then DRAGON!

Didn't forget that one.