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Shit. You sure know how to pull at the emotions, don't you?

3:22, 14th of Rain's Hand. Called out to Sovngarde to investigate reports of a disturbance. Apparently, people had been shouting at each other, and quite a brawl had erupted, leading to one dead dragon and a couple dozen dead people, considering that to get to Sovngarde in the first place you have to be dead. Upon questioning, local residents were nowhere to be found, and attempts to cross the bridge of bone lead to being blasted off by a huge musclebound man with a fetish for revealing attire. We found no evidence of any dead dragons, so we closed the case.

Geez...

This should actually be on the front page of SOT.

Next "chapter" is probably going to be another intermission. Just saying.

Before you wonder... no, it really isn't as bad as the College of Winterhold ending. Harkon asking for the bow actually makes a sort of twisted sense, if you consider that he is really an arrogant megalomaniac who can't conceive of the possibility of anyone disobeying him, particularly not a mere mortal. My feelings about the last bit of the Dawnguard DLC are more "meh" than anything else. It started off kind of slow, and ended kind of slow, and did a whole lot of slow in between... but it did have some really, really nifty levels and worldspaces. The writing more often than not seemed a rush job, like some poor writers were under a deadline to get the DLC out before June 2012... but it wasn't truly bad, most of it. Just... meh.

All in all? Worth the price, I'd say. It had some really great bits and pieces. The whole may not have been more than the sum of its parts, but most of the parts were pretty cool. Final overall grade: B-. Maybe a B.

Until his plans are laid bear, we just have to grin and bear the suspense.

Your puns are bearly tolerable.

Aah... but how will she get out? I am, of course, assuming that Sanguine is not done with her yet...

And I have found a very serious, terrible error in your text. You should be ashamed of introducing such inaccuracies.

 very popular with the children

What children, I ask you? Everyone knows that Skyrim is inhabited by 99% adults, since the Infertility Plague swept the province some, oh, say six to eight years ago. A major city is lucky to have one or two kids in it, and Falkreath has none!

Which leads one naturally to reflect on the sheer incompetence of the two main warring factions and bandit groups - you'd think that, with no population replenishment, constant skirmishes would lead to a dearth of citizenry after a time. But no, the whole world is still heavily populated by bandits and soldiers. These people can't even kill each other properly.

 

Either that, or the lack of children is because of the war. We know the Stormcloaks aren't worried about sacrificing kids to get rid of the Imperials.

 

Bad things in the future... which honestly isn't much of a surprise, is it?

And somehow I doubt that Elenwen would be disappointed at getting her hands on Sian instead of Delphine...

I love the chain! Nice work.

Well...

Most guys, seeing a picture like that, might not even notice the text at all, much less that it isn't level.

I figure you're already one up.

More like Falk-retch, amiright? Huh? Huh? Anybody?

Okay, I'll shut up now...

Jfraser's Skyrim>Bethesda's Skyrim

I'm guessing your experience in Falkreath was somewhat like mine-filled with idiotic guards. I swear I always end up getting arrested if a dragon lands there. "Oh you hit a guard because he moved in front of you while you were attacking a dragon? ALL KILL THE DRAGONBORN!!"

That is precisely what happens to me. Like, 2/5 of the time I'm in that place. I've stopped participating in battles in Falkreath... too much chance of smacking the wrong guy in a melee.

I love this blog. You make Skyrim better than it is. If only the game had some of this stuff!

 

Spoiler

Vyrthur would be so pleased to hear that! He might even come back to haunt youse, just to check out the thatchery and compare it to cottage he saw before youse slayed him.

 

I guess I should be thatchful for the attention. I'll be sure to thatch him when I see him.

Oh dear, more nonremovables.

I don't mind the QAYL meatstamp (quite like it in fact), but I'm not looking forward to being permanently branded a Stormcloak.

Hey, I thought it was a tattoo - is that a branding iron? Nifty!

Had to go to google image search for this one. I don't recognize the dragon cipher.

Slave To Freedom

To The Sons Of Skyrim

 

Translated into Dovahzul:

Aar wah Stin

Wah faal Kul do Keizaal

 

Not a direct translation because Dovahzul doesn't have some of the words. Slave or Freedom.

Okay, looking at your new pics, I'd say the balance of probability is that you've got a corrupted file.

Try redownloading it.

I have absolutely no idea why Word would be working for you, but if it does, good.

Wordpad shows pretty much the same... a bit compressed in order to fit on a printable page, but same thing.

Adobe Dreamweaver shows the same.

Visual Studio 2012 refuses to open it for some reason.

Microsoft Word just shows a blank page... IIRC there was a Word version a few years ago that saved things as some proprietary .xml format so that's safe to ignore.

That's about it for my windows-based programs though.

Okay, weird.

When I open it up with Notepad++, this is what I get:

<SliderPresets>

    <Preset name="sexy" set="ATRIA BODY">

        <SetSlider name="Arms" size="small" value="20" />

        <SetSlider name="Back" size="big" value="10" />

        <SetSlider name="Belly" size="big" value="30" />

        <SetSlider name="BigBelly" size="big" value="10" />

        <SetSlider name="BigButt" size="big" value="50" />

        <SetSlider name="BigTorso" size="big" value="10" />

        <SetSlider name="BreastFlatness" size="big" value="0" />

        <SetSlider name="BreastFlatness" size="small" value="0" />

        <SetSlider name="BreastGravity" size="big" value="0" />

        <SetSlider name="BreastGravity" size="small" value="0" />

        <SetSlider name="BreastPerkiness" size="big" value="0" />

        <SetSlider name="BreastPerkiness" size="small" value="39" />

        <SetSlider name="BreastWidth" size="big" value="-40" />

        <SetSlider name="Breasts" size="big" value="52" />

        <SetSlider name="Breasts" size="small" value="0" />

        <SetSlider name="BreastsSH" size="big" value="0" />

        <SetSlider name="BreastsSH" size="small" value="0" />

        <SetSlider name="BreastsSSH" size="big" value="0" />

        <SetSlider name="BreastsSSH" size="small" value="0" />

        <SetSlider name="BreastsSmall" size="big" value="100" />

        <SetSlider name="BreastsSmall" size="small" value="15" />

        <SetSlider name="ButtCrack" size="big" value="50" />

        <SetSlider name="ButtCrack" size="small" value="150" />

        <SetSlider name="ButtShape2" size="big" value="30" />

        <SetSlider name="ButtShape2" size="small" value="20" />

        <SetSlider name="ButtSmall" size="small" value="55" />

        <SetSlider name="CalfSmooth" size="big" value="10" />

        <SetSlider name="CalfSmooth" size="small" value="50" />

        <SetSlider name="ChubbyArms" size="big" value="50" />

        <SetSlider name="ChubbyButt" size="big" value="10" />

        <SetSlider name="DoubleMelon" size="big" value="0" />

        <SetSlider name="DoubleMelon" size="small" value="0" />

        <SetSlider name="Hipbone" size="big" value="15" />

        <SetSlider name="Hipbone" size="small" value="20" />

        <SetSlider name="NippleAreola" size="big" value="0" />

        <SetSlider name="NippleAreola" size="small" value="0" />

        <SetSlider name="NippleDistance" size="big" value="100" />

        <SetSlider name="NippleDistance" size="small" value="60" />

        <SetSlider name="NippleDown" size="big" value="50" />

        <SetSlider name="NippleDown" size="small" value="20" />

        <SetSlider name="NippleLength" size="big" value="30" />

        <SetSlider name="NippleLength" size="small" value="-10" />

        <SetSlider name="NipplePerkiness" size="big" value="30" />

        <SetSlider name="NippleSize" size="big" value="44" />

        <SetSlider name="NippleSize" size="small" value="0" />

        <SetSlider name="NippleTip" size="big" value="-40" />

        <SetSlider name="NippleUp" size="big" value="10" />

        <SetSlider name="ShoulderSmooth" size="big" value="50" />

        <SetSlider name="ShoulderSmooth" size="small" value="50" />

        <SetSlider name="ShoulderWidth" size="big" value="75" />

        <SetSlider name="ShoulderWidth" size="small" value="65" />

        <SetSlider name="SlimThighs" size="small" value="36" />

        <SetSlider name="Thighs" size="big" value="30" />

        <SetSlider name="Waist" size="small" value="50" />

        <SetSlider name="WideWaistLine" size="big" value="10" />

    </Preset>

</SliderPresets>

And even using standard windows notepad, one of the most basic text editors out there, it looks human-readable like a markup language should.

I'm at a loss as to what might be causing your problem there. How odd.

Whoa... umm, okay. Hmm.

That doesn't look like any xml file I've seen... unless there's something new out there, maybe a program that's using "xml" as an extension without it being a standard .xml file.

What file is that? What are you trying to edit?

I'd recommend just using Notepad++ then. Like I said, it's a plaintext file of a markup language (unless something has changed recently, or another program is using an .xml extension ) so you should be able to save it there.

I use Dreamweaver, but that costs actual money. I'm pretty sure that Notepad++ has an .xml plugin. Even without a plugin, it should format okay.

Microsoft wordpad might work.

Thing is, you can open it up in any plain text editor, since it's just a markup language and not actual code.

And I still haven't forgiven you for the spoiler btw. *grmph*

This is a spoiler!

Serana and I go visit Harkon and he decides to mellow out and we all end up living in his big castle in happiness and joy forevermore.

Then I kill them all. Just because.

And build a nice little cottage with some good thatching.

I just realized that this should have been an intermission.

I mean, so far intermissions have come after chapters 9, 18, and 27, so one should have come after chapter 36, right? To continue the pattern?

Ah well, after I finish up Dawnguard I'll probably put in another poll asking where Mace should go next. Why not? A whole 10 people responded last time! Ten people read these walls of text! That's right, there are ten people out there with absolutely no lives! Eleven, counting me.