Corrupt a Wish

[Ryanhabs]

Granted- The alien race comes in to contact with common cold via a small child sneezing on one of them. The virus quickly spreads through the scores of alien life forms invading this planet. The alien's bodies are made up of 98% water and as the cold virus is something unknown to them, they begin to dehydrate at an amazing pace eventually ending with their bodies collapsing in to dust piles of dead skin. As the few survivors begin to flee the planet, the gusts of wind caused from their ships launching back in to space lifts the dead alien skin piles in to the air and a dead alien skin cell dust cloud engulfs the atmosphere of the planet. Unknowingly, humans begin to inhale these tiny particles and the rest of this scenario can be seen in the movie 28 days later. (I got tired of typing)

I wish that I knew at 18 all the knowledge I know now.

[Dreamer102]

Granted - However, knowing everything you know now but back then causes you to irreparably change the course of your own history ending your life in disappointingly rich extravagance and despair.

I wish I BB King was my personal guitar teacher.

[Hitman69]

Granted - However' date=' knowing everything you know now but back then causes you to irreparably change the course of your own history ending your life in disappointingly rich extravagance and despair.

I wish I BB King was my personal guitar teacher.

[/quote']

Granted. However, he may be a great guitarist, he absolutely sucks at teaching. In fact, even a chimpanzee would have been better at teaching you to play the guitar.

I wish for a way to utilize the dust-storms caused by the aliens evaporated to generate clean energy, while also rendering them harmless.

[UgTheViking]

-Granted- Through an elaborate vacuum system the alien dust storms are sucked up and converted into clean, harmless energy which provides enough power to supply the entire planet, for about 32 days, at which point the alien dust storms have been completely utilized leaving a disgruntled world population in the dark.

In the mean time the alien pores have affected and corrupted the computer data running the elaborate vacuum system ,causing it to become self-aware and pro-alien. Large cities begin to get sucked up at an alarming rate.

I wish I had wriiten, directed and produced the last season of Battlestar Galactica so it was not only more to my liking but received with awe by the entire viewing population making it the greatest and most watched show in TV history. Oh yeah, and I get a couple of one nighters here and there with Lucy Lawless and Grace Park.

[Hitman69]

-Granted- Through an elaborate vacuum system the alien dust storms are sucked up and converted into clean' date=' harmless energy which provides enough power to supply the entire planet, for about 32 days, at which point the alien dust storms have been completely utilized leaving a disgruntled world population in the dark.

In the mean time the alien pores have affected and corrupted the computer data running the elaborate vacuum system ,causing it to become self-aware and pro-alien. Large cities begin to get sucked up at an alarming rate.

I wish I had wriiten, directed and produced the last season of Battlestar Galactica so it was not only more to my liking but received with awe by the entire viewing population making it the greatest and most watched show in TV history. Oh yeah, and I get a couple of one nighters here and there with Lucy Lawless and Grace Park.

[/quote']

Granted, however the awe you wanted results from shock, rather than respect. The only reason people still watched was the hilarity, resulting from terrible writing, acting, camera-work and post-editing.

Also, you confused the genie. How can you have multiple one-nighters with the same person? The point of a one-nighter is that it happens once. Otherwise it'd be a LAT relation.

I wish for the computers from the dust-processors to work on windows, thereby allowing the good people of the world to create a virus to eliminate the threat. (The StuxNet way, e.g. only infecting and altering exactly the right computers).

[UgTheViking]

-Granted- Virus created. Threat eliminated. World peace ensues for a day or two until it is discovered that a side effect of the computer virus has been to improbably create the improbability drive factor whereupon the world is sucked through a vortex and placed in a small ornamental snow globe owned by a pissed off, unemployed Viking goddess who shakes it frequently out of spite.

I wish someone else had granted my Galactica wish with a happier ending and that I had worded it with the proper terminology so it read: Oh yeah, and I get to be sex buddies with Lucy Lawless and Grace Park.

[Hitman69]

-Granted- Virus created. Threat eliminated. World peace ensues for a day or two until it is discovered that a side effect of the computer virus has been to improbably create the improbability drive factor whereupon the world is sucked through a vortex and placed in a small ornamental snow globe owned by a pissed off' date=' unemployed Viking goddess who shakes it frequently out of spite.

I wish someone else had granted my Galactica wish with a happier ending and that I had worded it with the proper terminology so it read: Oh yeah, and I get to be sex buddies with Lucy Lawless and Grace Park.

[/quote']

Granted. The other person had a funny sense of humor, so you being sex-buddies with Lucy and Grace is only happening in your rewritten version of the last season.

Seeing as how you're also the director and editor, they are creeped-out with you, and slam a restraining-order on your ass. You are now no longer allowed to be within 20 miles of either of them. You do manage to get it in the series, through the miracle of post-editing.

Yet again, people are shocked with the results.

They do like the new ending, though.

I wish for another improbability drive, thereby turning the Goddess into a whale, and a bowl of petunia's, while also returning earth to it's former (safe) self.

[UgTheViking]

-Granted- Improbabilty drive created. Goddess. Whale. Petunias. All happen. Earth returned. You wake up. It's all been a dream. Such a long, strange dream. You turn to tell your wife who you realize is Republican politician and one time Tea Party favorite Christine O'Donnel who is cackling in her sleep about flying monkeys and has wet the bed.

I wish I could figure out how the hell to make this mod I want.

[tacomarine]

-granted-

but now you find yourself stuck doing mod favors for friends, and the mods they want are the 'unicorn and rainbows' ones. and you are too tied up to actually make the mods you want. but one day you actually get around to making your mod. and after five hours of sweat and tears, one of the unicorns eats your computer.

if you want a shorter idea- your computer blows up after making your mod and your too depressed to start from scratch.

now since i'm friendless (mostly) and have disk backups every thrird day, (and have this nifty twelve gauge to shoot pesky unicorns) i wish i could mod skyrium. now.

[Hitman69]

-granted-

but now you find yourself stuck doing mod favors for friends' date=' and the mods they want are the 'unicorn and rainbows' ones. and you are too tied up to actually make the mods you want. but one day you actually get around to making your mod. and after five hours of sweat and tears, one of the unicorns eats your computer.

if you want a shorter idea- your computer blows up after making your mod and your too depressed to start from scratch.

now since i'm friendless (mostly) and have disk backups every thrird day, (and have this nifty twelve gauge to shoot pesky unicorns) i wish i could mod skyrium. now.

[/quote']

Granted. You get your hands on an obscure game named "skyrium" and can start modding immediately. Skyrim on the other hand will be forever out of reach to you.

I wish for more absolutely female, and perfectly healthy catgirls, cuz. well, you can never have too many catgirls.

[DarkNinja13]

Wish granted, however they are all concieted, racist lesbians who won't even give humans the time of day.

I wish I wasn't broke all the time

[tacomarine]

-granted-

you move to mexico, where you are now always 'roto'.

i wish i spelled skyrim right the fist time...

[rodvi]

granted you did...Nothing changes tho...

i wish for an infinite supply of toast!

[Hitman69]

granted you did...Nothing changes tho...

i wish for an infinite supply of toast!

Granted' date=' you get an endless supply of epicly burnt toast. Enjoy.

Also:

Wish granted, however they are all concieted, racist lesbians who won't even give humans the time of day.

I knew I forgot something.

Well then, let's resort to this: I wish for a hypno-ray, that only works when I use it on others.

[LilDevil]

I knew I forgot something.

Well then' date=' let's resort to this: I wish for a hypno-ray, that only works when [i']I use it on others.

Wish granted, but for some reason either only works on guys or crazy racist lesbians.

I wish I had a stable job as a musician

[tacomarine]

granted, but you didn't realize musicians only get paid $100 for a gig. steady job, but still below the poverty line.

i wish i didn't have to get up at six thirty today..

[rodvi]

granted you are now 100% permanently crippled so you can no longer get up at all

i want an army of possums! (that is completely under MY control and only takes orders from me!)

[DarkNinja13]

Wish Granted, however every time your opossum army is alarmed or startled, they all roll over and play possum (a biological imperative that's hardwired into their DNA). This makes any hopes of invasion futile.

I wish I could get laid today

[Leo77]

Granted, you got laid today with a hot babe, but you got a heart attack 10 seconds before climax and left a smiling corpse with a boner behind. Atleast the guys in the morque got something to laugh at today.

I wish i had another pair of arms. Would make work much easier

[Bowila]

Your legs are now an additional pair of arms, have fun.

I wish i had a piece of string, that is all.

[tacomarine]

-granted-

you now have a demon peice of string, one that is consistantly edging you for your soul... and several times a day trying to kill you

bad posessed peice of string..

i wish i wish..... i wish for more dots....

[rodvi]

granted you now have chickenpox.....

i wish for a brand new 50" full HD tv

[LilDevil]

granted you now have chickenpox.....

i wish for a brand new 50" full HD tv

Granted, but you seem to have only standard cable, so the HD is wasted and you are forced to watch old 80's re-runs.

I wish....... for a perfectly normal and healthy kitty cat for my sister.

[Hitman69]

granted you now have chickenpox.....

i wish for a brand new 50" full HD tv

Granted' date=' but you seem to have only standard cable, so the HD is wasted and you are forced to watch old 80's re-runs.

I wish....... for a perfectly normal and healthy kitty cat for my sister.

[/quote']

Granted, you turn into a cat. Little did you know that your sister has an incredible grip-strength. She cuddles you to death. Enjoy.

I knew I forgot something.

Well then' date=' let's resort to this: I wish for a hypno-ray, that only works when [i']I use it on others.

Wish granted, but for some reason either only works on guys or crazy racist lesbians.

Well, that was exactly what it was for, so thanks.

I wish that this wish won't have any adverse effects for me, or anyone/anything I know or care about, and that I won't be held responsible for any unfortunate consequences. (anything positive is fine, though).

[rodvi]

granted you are now a turtle that is positive right???

i wish for the ability to control time without any chance for paradoxes and accidents.