Corrupt a Wish

[HoroBoro]

Granted, but as soon as you get those powers, you are catapulted 200 years into the future where every aspect of life is already tightly regulated and controlled by sentient machines.

They cannot, in any way, harm humanity as a result of the 3 laws (which, have no loophole whatsoever: rule 0 is in full effect). However, never-the-less, they are in control. Humans are reduced to mindless, slobbering, pleasure seeking drones as all aspects of their life are made "easier" by the machines.

Not safe for work and might offend some:

Furthermore, they see a creative, thinking human like yourself as a potential threat to this utopia. They invite you to a grand reception feast, which you literally cannot refuse. In the event that you cannot be convinced, they will bind you. They reason that, as they are the sole producers of food in the world, to refuse them will bring you indirect harm (and rule 1 overrides rule 2).

In any event, after a large meal, or after a forced feeding, both of which involve pleasure inducing narcotics without side effects, you are cleaned, given comfortable clothes, and taken to one of many pleasure rooms. There, a virtual harem awaits you. Your every need is catered to by the robots, and you are satisfied to the point of insanity. Your life is now pointless and slovenly, but you no longer care. In fact, the robots flood your mind with so much pleasure that you feel neither a tinge of emptiness nor an iota of helplessness. You will never be able to use your new-found powers.

Not safe for work and might offend some:

Ok! My turn! I wish that I had complete control over my actions. I.E. I can go without sleep forever without negative consequences just by willing it. Or, I could eat 100 lbs of meat without blowing up just by willing it. Or, I can win any battle just by willing it.

In short... I wish I could be the main character of a shonen manga!

[Hitman69]

Granted' date=' but as soon as you get those powers, you are catapulted 200 years into the future where every aspect of life is already tightly regulated and controlled by sentient machines.

[img']http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQeV2ckBhB6vXmm0bizEB2W04Ii0HSVh_2MK7phRmFUJRuWBZVrPQ

They cannot, in any way, harm humanity as a result of the 3 laws (which, have no loophole whatsoever: rule 0 is in full effect). However, never-the-less, they are in control. Humans are reduced to mindless, slobbering, pleasure seeking drones as all aspects of their life are made "easier" by the machines.

Not safe for work and might offend some:

Furthermore, they see a creative, thinking human like yourself as a potential threat to this utopia. They invite you to a grand reception feast, which you literally cannot refuse. In the event that you cannot be convinced, they will bind you. They reason that, as they are the sole producers of food in the world, to refuse them will bring you indirect harm (and rule 1 overrides rule 2).

In any event, after a large meal, or after a forced feeding, both of which involve pleasure inducing narcotics without side effects, you are cleaned, given comfortable clothes, and taken to one of many pleasure rooms. There, a virtual harem awaits you. Your every need is catered to by the robots, and you are satisfied to the point of insanity. Your life is now pointless and slovenly, but you no longer care. In fact, the robots flood your mind with so much pleasure that you feel neither a tinge of emptiness nor an iota of helplessness. You will never be able to use your new-found powers.

Not safe for work and might offend some:

Ok! My turn! I wish that I had complete control over my actions. I.E. I can go without sleep forever without negative consequences just by willing it. Or, I could eat 100 lbs of meat without blowing up just by willing it. Or, I can win any battle just by willing it.

In short... I wish I could be the main character of a shonen manga!

Granted, however, you lose free will in the process. Good luck using your powers, now.

I wish I could locally increase gravity, so that I can pull my supernova back together into an astral body, so that I can transform it back to my own body. Obviously, I want to retain free will, and my current powers (Mind-blowing telepathy (Oh yeah, I went there), feeble telekinesis, setting myself on fire, without getting hurt, and transformation to every material I want, at will).

[nyanyanyanyan]

Granted' date=' but as soon as you get those powers, you are catapulted 200 years into the future where every aspect of life is already tightly regulated and controlled by sentient machines.

[img']http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQeV2ckBhB6vXmm0bizEB2W04Ii0HSVh_2MK7phRmFUJRuWBZVrPQ

They cannot, in any way, harm humanity as a result of the 3 laws (which, have no loophole whatsoever: rule 0 is in full effect). However, never-the-less, they are in control. Humans are reduced to mindless, slobbering, pleasure seeking drones as all aspects of their life are made "easier" by the machines.

Not safe for work and might offend some:

Furthermore, they see a creative, thinking human like yourself as a potential threat to this utopia. They invite you to a grand reception feast, which you literally cannot refuse. In the event that you cannot be convinced, they will bind you. They reason that, as they are the sole producers of food in the world, to refuse them will bring you indirect harm (and rule 1 overrides rule 2).

In any event, after a large meal, or after a forced feeding, both of which involve pleasure inducing narcotics without side effects, you are cleaned, given comfortable clothes, and taken to one of many pleasure rooms. There, a virtual harem awaits you. Your every need is catered to by the robots, and you are satisfied to the point of insanity. Your life is now pointless and slovenly, but you no longer care. In fact, the robots flood your mind with so much pleasure that you feel neither a tinge of emptiness nor an iota of helplessness. You will never be able to use your new-found powers.

Not safe for work and might offend some:

Ok! My turn! I wish that I had complete control over my actions. I.E. I can go without sleep forever without negative consequences just by willing it. Or, I could eat 100 lbs of meat without blowing up just by willing it. Or, I can win any battle just by willing it.

In short... I wish I could be the main character of a shonen manga!

Granted, however, you lose free will in the process. Good luck using your powers, now.

I wish I could locally increase gravity, so that I can pull my supernova back together into an astral body, so that I can transform it back to my own body. Obviously, I want to retain free will, and my current powers (Mind-blowing telepathy (Oh yeah, I went there), feeble telekinesis, setting myself on fire, without getting hurt, and transformation to every material I want, at will).

You now have the power to only increase gravity, however in doing so you altered the orbit of the planet causing it to go into an inward spiral towards the local sun, the moon is also affected in this process and crashes into the planet thus shattering the crust which causes a massive lava tsunami earthquake dust storm combo that devastates the planet.

inside your body however, the specific gravity within you increases uncontrollably thus causing you to become denser and denser until you collapse within yourself into the size of a pea.

I wish for to be able to always have access to a steady, reliable, and fast internet connection that is up-to-date in quality comparable to the time i am currently in.

[Guest ThatOne]

Granted, but you now forced to abide by strict regulations which limit your browser searches to this:
/>http://www.zaaap.net/wp-content/gallery/facepalm-pics-3/f069ad45_epic_facepalm_by_www-zaaap_-net_.jpg

You are also denied access to any program that requires an internet connection (such as online game clients etc).

Have fun with your super-fast internet!

My wish? I wish I had a jar of dirt. The normal kind, without anything else I would not like inside\on\around the jar, or in it's close proximity.

I must be the legal owner of the jar, and of course must retain control over myself, my soul, my actions etc.

Also, my acquiring the jar in this method mustn't cause me or anyone I care about harm in any way or form, nor any adverse effects.

-ThatOne

[tacomarine]

fine. you now have a jar of dirt. the normal, undeaomized kind. however, in another dimintion, you are indirectly hunted because you were imitateing this guy.

all in all, aquireing the jar of dirt doesn't harm you. KEEPING it, does in another deminsion. woot.

really, all i had to do was post jack sparrow and his jar of dirt. it IS a normal jar of dirt.

i wish people would stop being specific. MY CREATIVITY IS THAT OF A TREE STUMP! a dead one.

[Guest ThatOne]

Granted, but the Genie decided to make your words reality and now you really have the creativity of a dead stump. You will never think an original thought again (as in, you'll never think of something someone else hasn't already told you about before).

I wish there was a sandwitch (yes, with a "t") in Iran.

-ThatOne

[nyanyanyanyan]

Granted' date=' but the Genie decided to make your words reality and now you really have the creativity of a dead stump. You will never think an original thought again (as in, you'll never think of something someone else hasn't already told you about before).

I wish there was a sandwitch (yes, with a "t") in Iran.

-ThatOne

[/quote']

You are captured and forced to give birth to a sandwitch in iran. after having to raise the child to age on your own as a single parent, the sandwitch begins a rampage all across iran turning all of the sand in the deserts into a giant beautiful crystalline forest filled with intricate glass and quarts cave networks.

Unfortunately, the glass structure formed from the very bedrock of the entire country is now extremely brittle, and all of the oil deposits underneath iran ruptures and covers the entire surface of iran with the entirety of the country's crude oil deposit. In doing so, the added weight on the surface along with the lower underground pressure causes the entire crystalline forest to collapse causing large formations of quarts to strike each other at tremendous pressures causing a piezoelectric effect.

the quarts generate a massive spark from this effect and ignite the now surface oil fields consuming the entire country of iran into a sea of flame. to make things worst, the dense smoke from the flames rise up into the atmosphere generating a massive cloud covering that blocks out most of the sun's rays.

the sandwitch, in horror of the consequences of her actions, attempts to use all of the surrounding deserts' sand to smother out the sea of flame that was once iran. however, due to the extreme heat generated, the smoke and heat scatters the sand and creates a massive fire and sand storm. the intense heat, and friction generates an extreme amount of static electricity causing all of your clothing to permanently cling together for all of eternity

after the fires subsided, the entirety of iran along with all of its neighboring countries is transformed into a beautiful sea obsidian laced with prismatic swirls of glass.

after all is said and done, you feel bad about not raising your sandwitch to be more careful with her powers.

i wish for my fallout:new vegas game would not crash or become non-responsive, ever.

[Searinglich]

Granted, whenever Fallout: New Vegas is detected on your computer it automatically uninstalls itself so it never crashes again.

I wish I had a battalion of trained velociraptors that could not harm me in any way and only obeyed my commands.

[rodvi]

granted but they panic when they see a helicopter and jump of a cliff

i wish for...errrrrr i wish for something to wish for!

[Guest ThatOne]

Granted' date=' but the Genie decided to make your words reality and now you really have the creativity of a dead stump. You will never think an original thought again (as in, you'll never think of something someone else hasn't already told you about before).

I wish there was a sandwitch (yes, with a "t") in Iran.

-ThatOne

[/quote']

You are captured and forced to give birth to a sandwitch in iran. after having to raise the child to age on your own as a single parent, the sandwitch begins a rampage all across iran turning all of the sand in the deserts into a giant beautiful crystalline forest filled with intricate glass and quarts cave networks.

Unfortunately, the glass structure formed from the very bedrock of the entire country is now extremely brittle, and all of the oil deposits underneath iran ruptures and covers the entire surface of iran with the entirety of the country's crude oil deposit. In doing so, the added weight on the surface along with the lower underground pressure causes the entire crystalline forest to collapse causing large formations of quarts to strike each other at tremendous pressures causing a piezoelectric effect.

the quarts generate a massive spark from this effect and ignite the now surface oil fields consuming the entire country of iran into a sea of flame. to make things worst, the dense smoke from the flames rise up into the atmosphere generating a massive cloud covering that blocks out most of the sun's rays.

the sandwitch, in horror of the consequences of her actions, attempts to use all of the surrounding deserts' sand to smother out the sea of flame that was once iran. however, due to the extreme heat generated, the smoke and heat scatters the sand and creates a massive fire and sand storm. the intense heat, and friction generates an extreme amount of static electricity causing all of your clothing to permanently cling together for all of eternity

after the fires subsided, the entirety of iran along with all of its neighboring countries is transformed into a beautiful sea obsidian laced with prismatic swirls of glass.

after all is said and done, you feel bad about not raising your sandwitch to be more careful with her powers.

Woha!! I caused all of that, and you tell me I feel bad? The entire point was for something to blow Iran.

I have a "minor" issue with that country's... Policies, shall we say? Anyway, I'm pretty happy with the conclusion except that....

I'm male, ergo I can't give birth.

Anyway, on-topic:

You suddenly feel inspired and have a great idea for a wish!.. Except that your free will is now stripped away, and you cannot wish for yourself anymore (so no, you can't wish it).

I wish nyanyanyanyan would have found and wrote different reason for the sandwitch's appearance in Iran, one which does not include me being impregnated\sodomized in any way.

Yeah, you can burn\kill me, I don't mind. I'll be happy to take all those extreme Muslims with me to the grave (it's a bit hard not to hold a grudge after your friend gets killed by a bomb, y'know?).

We all die in the end, if we can save those we love from a premature and painful death then I don't think that's bad.

-ThatOne

[nyanyanyanyan]

Granted' date=' but the Genie decided to make your words reality and now you really have the creativity of a dead stump. You will never think an original thought again (as in, you'll never think of something someone else hasn't already told you about before).

I wish there was a sandwitch (yes, with a "t") in Iran.

-ThatOne

[/quote']

You are captured and forced to give birth to a sandwitch in iran. after having to raise the child to age on your own as a single parent, the sandwitch begins a rampage all across iran turning all of the sand in the deserts into a giant beautiful crystalline forest filled with intricate glass and quarts cave networks.

Unfortunately, the glass structure formed from the very bedrock of the entire country is now extremely brittle, and all of the oil deposits underneath iran ruptures and covers the entire surface of iran with the entirety of the country's crude oil deposit. In doing so, the added weight on the surface along with the lower underground pressure causes the entire crystalline forest to collapse causing large formations of quarts to strike each other at tremendous pressures causing a piezoelectric effect.

the quarts generate a massive spark from this effect and ignite the now surface oil fields consuming the entire country of iran into a sea of flame. to make things worst, the dense smoke from the flames rise up into the atmosphere generating a massive cloud covering that blocks out most of the sun's rays.

the sandwitch, in horror of the consequences of her actions, attempts to use all of the surrounding deserts' sand to smother out the sea of flame that was once iran. however, due to the extreme heat generated, the smoke and heat scatters the sand and creates a massive fire and sand storm. the intense heat, and friction generates an extreme amount of static electricity causing all of your clothing to permanently cling together for all of eternity

after the fires subsided, the entirety of iran along with all of its neighboring countries is transformed into a beautiful sea obsidian laced with prismatic swirls of glass.

after all is said and done, you feel bad about not raising your sandwitch to be more careful with her powers.

Woha!! I caused all of that, and you tell me I feel bad? The entire point was for something to blow Iran.

I have a "minor" issue with that country's... Policies, shall we say? Anyway, I'm pretty happy with the conclusion except that....

I'm male, ergo I can't give birth.

Anyway, on-topic:

You suddenly feel inspired and have a great idea for a wish!.. Except that your free will is now stripped away, and you cannot wish for yourself anymore (so no, you can't wish it).

I wish nyanyanyanyan would have found and wrote different reason for the sandwitch's appearance in Iran, one which does not include me being impregnated\sodomized in any way.

Yeah, you can burn\kill me, I don't mind. I'll be happy to take all those extreme Muslims with me to the grave (it's a bit hard not to hold a grudge after your friend gets killed by a bomb, y'know?).

We all die in the end, if we can save those we love from a premature and painful death then I don't think that's bad.

-ThatOne

Granted, you are now female, and you gave birth to the sandwitch through asexual reproduction.

and you feel bad due to the global devastation caused by the massive fires, possibly leading the world to the next ice age.

i wish i can find my cellphone lol.

[rodvi]

granted you fall of a cliff and find your cellphone (on the bottom of the sea

i wish that i was the king of everything in excistense

[Searinglich]

Granted, but at your coronation ceremony the jester accidently pushes you off a cliff resulting in your untimely demise, and the last thing you hear is everyone laughing with the jester.

I wish that I had and could control the powers of Alex Mercer in Prototype.

[polluxval]

Granted, but you will die by an extrange sickness deribated from the powers in 2 hrs from now.

I wish I can teleport myself to anywhere i want.

[Guest ThatOne]

Granted, but the teleportation process alters your cell formation in a way that leaves you permanently deformed. Each new teleportation mutates you further, until you are no longer recognized as a human and get shot by the local army.

I wish I could change my gender back to male, while retaining every other attribute\power\freedom I currently have.

-ThatOne

[nyanyanyanyan]

Granted' date=' but the teleportation process alters your cell formation in a way that leaves you permanently deformed. Each new teleportation mutates you further, until you are no longer recognized as a human and get shot by the local army.

I wish I could change my gender back to male, while retaining every other attribute\power\freedom I currently have.

-ThatOne

[/quote']

You changed your gender back to male, but you're still pregnant. Your pregnancy becomes an ectopic pregnancy and makes you bed ridden for 9 months until the birth of your baby sandwitch. Obviously, the doctors have to perform a c-section to remove the baby during child birth. you did say every other attribute.

i wish someone didnt trample my garden yesterday

[Guest ThatOne]

I'm having a bit of consistency issues here...

As I already got Iran down, I can't *still* be pregnant, so...

Anyway, you got your wish: someONE didn't trample your garden, but someTHING did - a meteorite fell on your garden, decimating it completely. As a side effect, your house was destroyed (lucky you weren't home huh?).

Now, for my wish: I wish nyanyanyanyan would have corrupted my wishes in a consistent way.

-ThatOne

[nyanyanyanyan]

I'm having a bit of consistency issues here...

As I already got Iran down' date=' I can't *still* be pregnant, so...

Anyway, you got your wish: someONE didn't trample your garden, but someTHING did - a meteorite fell on your garden, decimating it completely. As a side effect, your house was destroyed (lucky you weren't home huh?).

Now, for my wish: I wish nyanyanyanyan would have corrupted my wishes in a consistent way.

-ThatOne

[/quote']

Your timeline is now this:

Prior to the birth of the sandwitch, you are female, and you get captured and taken over to iran where you become pregnant through asexual reproduction. However, you decided to change your gender to male immediately after conception. Nine months of pregnancy later, you gave birth to your baby sandwitch through emergency c-section by a doctor.

After raising the sandwitch to age 18 as a single parent, she begins her rampage through the deserts of iran. After all is said and done, you feel bad about not raising your child to have more self control after seeing the global devastation she caused.

Upon seeing your sadness, the sandwitch feels deep regret for causing the only parent to feel such pain, and attempts some time shenanigans to go back in time. She succeeds, and goes back in time 20 years. However, the time shenanigans causes her to lose her memory.

Confused and utterly clueless of who she is or where she came from, the starts her life over and assumes the identity of ThatOne. Two years later, she gets captured and abducted to iran where she conceived through asexual reproduction thus completing the infinite time loop.

I wish for a cup of coffee >.> its waayyy too early for this.

[rodvi]

granted but the cofee tastes like cat piss

i wish i had the most awesome sence of humour ever!

[Guest ThatOne]

Granted, but as a side effect you become depressed and your mood is always gloomy. You find no cause for mirth and thus will have no inclination to use said sense of humor.

Now to find a different subject, because I don't want to pull this further into my anti-Iran views.

I wish my friend wasn't sick. No, you can't kill him, we're going fishing tomorrow.

[rodvi]

granted but while you are fishing you fall into the sea/lake/whatever and find a ring that makes your friend go insane and choke you to death

i wish for a car

[nyanyanyanyan]

granted but while you are fishing you fall into the sea/lake/whatever and find a ring that makes your friend go insane and choke you to death

i wish for a car

you get a hot pink geo metro with neon orange flames on the sides, and you have to drive it as it is your only means of transportation.

i wish for someone to buy me lunch.

[rodvi]

granted someone buys you a live comododragon for lunch

i wish my car wasn't so...gay...

[nyanyanyanyan]

granted someone buys you a live comododragon for lunch

i wish my car wasn't so...gay...

You trade in your geo metro for a grey toyota camry. Little did you know, the geo metro you traded in contained top secret mind altering technology that automatically makes the driver ultra attractive towards the opposite sex, and ultra cool towards the same sex. the insides of the geo metro was also lined with a massive amount of diamonds which you conveniently never noticed, but that doesnt matter anymore since you already traded it for a not-so-gay-looking car. also, your new car sucks and all of your close friends make fun of you for driving such a sucky car.

i wish for a copy of oblivion that doesnt crash on me every 10 minutes.

[rodvi]

granted you get a copy of oblivion that doesn't crash every ten minutes...oh and it doesn't support mods have fun

i wish i didn't have problems sleeping..